The Laziest Religion

There are many different ways that faith systems approach the whole belief vs deeds debate. I, of course, cannot list them all here, nor is it a comprehensive description as this blog is dedicated to me leaving the Christian faith I list other religions here as a general comparison only. 

The Christian faith has it's basis in right belief; by right belief I mean that you must believe the correct thing about God, Jesus and salvation in order to be saved according to the Christian tradition. During my growing up years I heard this touted as one of the proofs that our religion was the only true belief system; because instead of people attempting, through good works, to get to God, God came to us. It is true that while believing certain foundational truths is important in other religions as well it does not form the entire basis of a faith system alone. 

Judaism, for example, focuses far less on what you believe as long as you do what you should. In that religious culture (and I am generalizing of course) you don't have to feel certain ways about God, the Bible and everything else. Depending on your level of orthodoxy within Judaism you may not believe in God at all. It is the nature of mitzvot (good deeds), tzedakah (charitable giving/justice), tikkun olam (healing the world) and Shabbat (honoring the day of rest) that bring meaning and purpose to life. To be Jewish you must ACT Jewish and participate in the community.

Islam focuses on a combination of faith and action. Combined with the beliefs that a Muslim must have in Allah, the Qur'an, the prophets and other articles of their faith; they must also follow the five pillars of Islam which list out the primary active responsibilities including: the testimony of faith, prayer, giving, fasting and pilgrimage. Islam does not rely merely on faith nor on action but believes in the combined power of the two.

Then there is Christianity, which can hardly be called a monotheistic religion in the strictest sense of the word (as many Christians believe in a triune deity consisting of God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit who are all distinct and yet one). However, that is not the purpose of this post. Christian tradition tells people that "All have fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23 NIV) and so it is impossible for any human to make themselves right with God through any action of their own. Their answer is Jesus' death on the cross. 

The unintended consequence of this is that it means that Christians don't have to try. They don't have to do good things and perform good deeds because it has no bearing on whether they are "saved" or not. It occurred to me the other day that it just may be the laziest religion. You don't have to do anything but recite a prayer, "ask Jesus into your heart" (which of course is NOWHERE in the Bible) and that's it your saved. Poof! Yeah, they tell you should "live for the Lord now" and all that junk but there is no motivator to do it. You're already saved. Perhaps that is why so many people have had horrible experiences with Christians and hypocrisy is so rampant. If you believe that your eternal destiny is all wrapped up and  good-to-go then why bother being a good person. (I say it is the laziest religion also because if any of you have looked into converting to another organized religion they put you through the ringer to make sure you are committed; none of this one prayer and you're in nonsense. It may begin with a statement of faith [as in Islam] but there are other commitments to make to be truly a member of that religion.)

The irony in all of this is that Jesus, the founder of the Christian religion, spoke much more about what people needed to DO that what they needed to believe to be saved. He commanded people to walk in order to heal their crippled legs, he told his disciples to leave everything they owned, he told others that in order to be saved they would have to sell all their possessions and follow him (yeah, don't see people signing up for that one these days). Jesus had all these things that people needed to act on to show their faith and yet, once he was gone his followers somehow turned it into something that was based on faith alone and any good deeds done were and added "jewel in your crown" so-to-speak. It speaks about what you should do in the New Testament the Christians added to the Bible but the focus is always on what you believe not on what you do. Let's face it, it's just plain easier to make the religion about what you think about rather than what you do because no one can really know what goes on in your head but they can all see what you do. If you can blame all your negative actions on being a sinner and no one can tell whether you really repent or even believe then what's stopping you? It's the perfect out. 

I say all this because I believe that there is power in choosing to what you believe but I am far more adamant about people acting out what they believe that what the belief actually is. I just want people to be genuine. I want them to do what they say they believe. If you want to make the world a better place, do it. If you say you are commanded to love people, do it. The focus on right belief for Christians has only led to divisiveness within their church and the alienation of seekers. The hypocrisy makes it hard for people to understand and yet it is so easy to become a Christian you can do it practically by accident. Whatever your faith base, or if you have none at all, just be true to it. Please. 

Openly Leaving Christianity

I told my parents this past week. I told them that no longer believed in Jesus. It was an incredibly hard conversation and yet I am profoundly proud of how they handled it. I went into it full of dread, knowing that they would neither understand nor support my decision. All I could  truly hope for was that they would listen respectfully, not attempt to dissuade me and not withdraw their love. They succeeded in spectacular fashion!

Changing faith systems is hard! Even when you are absolutely certain that you are making the right move away from something, it is still a challenge to those you leave behind. It is challenging because I do not want to denigrate the faith that they still hold to. I do not want to blame or shame. I simply want to move away from it myself.

But how do you condense into a lunch-hour conversation the journey that, while intense over the last year, has really had roots throughout your entire life. I have been on this journey forever really, even before I knew it. Looking back at all the questions I had. The general wondering as I sat in church whether we weren't all just deluded and lost. The feeling that the values were well-intentioned but the applications and motivations were screwy. The paper I did senior year of high school about why it's actually harder to be a Christian in a Christian school (it was not well-received). The anger I felt at the judgement leveled against others who were not "Christian" enough or homosexual or poor or rich or whatever that particular Christian was insecure about. But now I'm getting off topic, back to the lunch.....

Somehow I went in, laid out my journey as thoughtfully, succinctly and kindly as possible (I hope). Openly acknowledging that this was a big deal, I knew they wouldn't agree and that this was going to be hard but that I wanted to be close to them and that I believed that we could work through this together. They had questions, some of which I couldn't answer and that was okay. They said that they loved me and only ever wanted me to find the real truth. And we all sat there silently knowing that we now had very different definitions of what that truth was. 

I know in my heart that many people will never experience the level of acceptance that I experienced that day. For many people leaving a faith means death. Literally. For others their lives and major relationships are irreparably damaged. I am blessed beyond measure to have parents who love me enough to love me despite my rejection of the thing they hold most dear in their life. It is a shattering reality and the reflection from that shattered mirror will continue to illuminate my way onto paths I would never have found otherwise. 

Holiday Tolerance

I had always been told that when people say things like "Happy Holidays" that it is the "non-believer" seeking to commercialize and trivialize the true meaning of Christmas. Fundamental Christian groups that I knew growing up were dead certain that this was society's way of eliminating "Christ" from "Christ"mas. 

I think they are right, but not for the reasons THEY think they are right. I think it is right and good to pay tribute to the fact that while we live in a vast and predominantly Christian country, there is still religious freedom here (if only in technicality). I think the urge of some Christians to push their religious holidays on others is rather off-putting actually. I had always been annoyed at other Christians who forced their faith on others and now (as a former Christian in the process of converting to a different faith) I find the holiday tug-of-war similarly distasteful. 

Christians have every right to celebrate their holidays. So does every one else. Many religions have both major and minor holidays that they consider very sacred. Yet in Western society these holidays are rarely even acknowledged. 

For example, at my daughter's schools there are "Christmas concerts" and that would never have caused me a moments pause before, but really why should my child learn religious-based songs that are part of a religion that I have no faith in. If it were billed as diversity exposure that would be fine but the assumption is that my child believes in all those things. 

For the first time in my life I am experiencing just a taste of what it means to be in the minority. Christmas is overwhelming for those that don't want to support, even in a secular measure, the reason that the holiday truly exists. The signs of Christmas await you at every turn, lurking in the grocery store and hitting you upside the head from commercials to becoming background music at work. It is insidious. 

It will prove an interesting first holiday season away from the Christian faith. I am not particularly worried by it but I am noticing things more and in the noticing I realize that perhaps instead of worrying about people attacking their religious beliefs Christians could think about what it would feel like to be asked to honor another religion's holiday in the same fashion. They would revolt. If Christians were asked to immerse themselves in a culture that revolves around holidays that are a part of a faith that they don't practice I have a feeling they would be vastly uncomfortable. Perhaps that thought resonates with you just a little. 

Whatever your faith base (or lack thereof) think about how you would feel to be virtually forced by societal pressure to celebrate some one else's holiday. The reason for the season certainly depends on where you are coming from. I see this season as the  beginning of a dance in which I skirt the cultural norm in favor of an alternate faith and come out intact on the other end. That's the goal anyway. 

So Happy Holidays (should you celebrate them during December) and Happy Winter (should you not). 

A New Journey

I cannot begin to describe to you how I have come to the place of de-conversion and so I will not. It was a thoughtful process that has released me in ways I didn't know were possible.

This past Sunday I packed up my books. A lifetime collection of Christian fiction, non-fiction and Bibles that are, for the moment, housing in my garage. It was a deeply moving thing to go through all my books and extract out the items that resoundingly relayed a message I no longer believe. 

I have fond memories of many of those books and so it was with nostalgia that I packed them away. It didn't feel right having them in my bookshelves and near my bed, intermingled with books about parenting, fiction and finance. 

It is like there has been a death. A cleansing death. Death is not often cleansing but painful and likely to rob you of joy. For me, the death of the faith I was brought up in is indeed cleansing. Instead of forcing my mind to conform to the thoughts that made my insides reel, I can acknowledge that my mind and heart and instincts were right all along. 

I am certain that if you have never changed your religion (particularly if you were a part of that religion for any significant period of time) then you won't understand what I am referring to. It's a peculiar thing to have statements, songs, prayers, sayings, etc. that once were comforting and sensible seem like utter nonsense. It's very much like when you fall in love with someone and the relationship ends in utter destruction and you look at that person and wonder, "Why the hell did that EVER make sense? Why was I with them? What did I see in them?" The very person you once found deeply attractive is now equally repulsive. It is similar to this with leaving a faith behind. While my old belief system is not repulsive to me it is hard to understand why it ever made sense. 

So I now embark upon this journey of integration into a faith that aligns so well with what I feel that I have always known. It's as though the blinders of another's choices that been removed and me, free to choose for myself, can see clearly for the first time. And yet, I have seen it before. It is as though I have having faith deja vu. The things that bothered me before I now no longer have to concern myself with because they are not a part of the place I am now. When you find a faith that shares the same goals as you, the same priorities, the same God; it's like finding the perfect lover and all you want to do is spend more time there, soaking in the moment. 

So I take measured steps, moving toward my new faith with the singular goal of open-eyed understanding and the desire to make this union a lasting one.